It’s different for everyone, but that something that, I think, really hinders me in pursuing my goals is the fear that I’m pursuing “the wrong one”. Going through an old journal last night, I found multiple career epiphanies documented and “New Plan!” outlines written. Each was headed in a slightly different direction. Each was a choice of creation over service, or service over creation.
So, I had a thought: why not pursue both? Perhaps not as careers, per say, but as sources of fulfillment and happiness. And besides, who knows what the future will bring, what changes or opportunities may come my way? I feel confident that I want my career to be centered around service of some sort–working with people on emotional, physical, and psychological levels, but I also know that having time to be expressive and creative is equally important. Whenever I’ve tried to choose one over the other in the past, I felt dissatisfied… incomplete, even.
While I want to direct my energies into creating a career that will both pay the bills and allow me to feel like I’m doing something good for the world, I cannot abandon my creative tendencies. I must set time aside to write, draw, paint, knit, crochet, whatever. I need to allow these hobbies to become sources of contentment, rather than anxiety (I get anxious about writing whenever I try to declare it as my career).
To begin, when I got home from school today, I made a “projects” crate. Each hanging file has a few different color folders to sort, save, and organize ideas, articles, plans, and sources of inspiration. Not only for my hopeful career(s), but for my personal creative pursuits as well. To push myself a little further, I’d like to make it a regular thing, perhaps once a month, to share some progress on my personal work. It might be a few small drawings, or excerpts from poems or essays. Whatever it is, it’ll be an extra dose of motivation.
Lastly, as I’ve dedicated November to love, I chose the above photo because it’s a reminder to me that everything grows through conscious practice. Everything. Our ability to love, our work, our passions, and our hobbies. Nothing occurs by magic alone… the magic, the talent, whatever it is that gets you started, it’ll only get you halfway there without practice.
That’s all for tonight!